Back to the Barre......after three decades....

So, after feeling a bit blah, a bit run down by the rat race and routine of life, about two weeks ago, I decided to reclaim a bit of my life, a bit of my time, and return to something I loved when I was a child.  I decided to sign up for a ballet class.  That's right - a ballet class.

I had thought about returning to ballet many times over the past ten years or so, but never actually did it.  It was always a passing fancy, another "to-do" item on a list that was already too full and incomplete, another expense when the money was not quite going far enough to begin with.  Each time I thought about it before, I would tell myself that I had to get in shape first, get out of debt first, take care of the kids first, find a mate first - the list went on and on.  Plus, it had literally been decades since I had done it!

However, this time when the thought crossed my mind - it was different.

I took action.

I literally called a dance studio and asked this question, "Do you have a ballet class for out of shape, middle aged women who haven't danced ballet in about 30 years?"  Surprisingly, the young man on the other end of the phone said, "Yes - everyday at 8:00 or 8:30, depending on the day.  First class is free - come on by."  Well well.....I hadn't realy expected that answer.

The next day, I went on a discount dance supply website, and ordered two pairs of Capezio convertible tights, two black leotards (they come in my size! hooray!), and a pair of leather Capezio split soled ballet shoes.  Paid a few bucks extra for faster delivery (did not want to lose m momentum).  I vowed to attend the very next class after my items arrived.

They arrived.  I felt the same thrill that I did as a young girl when Mom would get new ballet shoes and tights for me.  And, true to my word, I got up the next morning, struggled into the tights and leotard, threw on some yoga pants, and headed for class.

Now let me tell you something - if you want to make better food and exercise choices in life immediately - put on a pair of pink tights and a black leotard!  It was funny because I do not suffer from extreme body issues.  I wear bikinis even though I am not perfect, and am confident about my appeal and looks.  But this was just different!  Maybe because it had been so long since I had seen myself in that getup, and the change was so dramatic.

Anyway, off I went to the class.  I signed in, recognized the voice of the young man behind the counter as the young man I spoke with on the phone, and we chatted for a few minutes.  He reassured me that "people like me" come in at least once a month.

I wandered over to the bench with butterflies on my stomach, and put on my shoes.  Glancing around the studio, I sussed out the other students.  Easily, I outweighed the next closest dancer by thirty pounds!  Oh and did I mention she is 6 and a half months pregnant?  The rest of the group - I am easily 50 pounds more.  They are light and lithe and willowy yet powerful.....I felt like Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter.  At least I was here - you have to start somewhere, right?

I wondered if I would be welcomed into the pack, or if they were a tightly knit group that I would always be looking at through a window.  That question was answered quickly when Georgia, a lovely redhead walked over and introduced herself, and started chatting with me, introducing me to other dancers, who all greeted me with a smile and an outstretched hand.

I introduced myself to the teacher and told him that this was my first class in about thirty years.  He picked out a spot for me at the barre, and we started.  Now I had every intention of removing the yoga pants when class started (they are not really condusive to barre work AND it was about 3 degrees hotter than Hades in there), but I lost my nerve and wore them through the whole class!  Truly surprised myself.  I am usually similar to Cartman from 'South Park' with an "I do what I want" attitude.  Shut down that morning.

As the class progressed, whilst dripping with sweat from my scalp to the soles of my feet, I watched the best dancer to my right and to my left and worked to force my body to move in the old ways.  Would my hips still turn out?  Would I remember how to execute the basic positions?  Would I fall on my face?  Or butt?  I actually made it through, surprised by the muscle memory in my body.  While there are certainly things I cannot do, my body remembered an awful lot!  And I did not fall.

The funniest thing is that when I left, after dancing (or attempting to) for an hour and a half, instead of feeling exhausted and out of breath - I felt almost euphoric.  Happy, joyful, light, and excited.  The class tapped into feelings about myself that had been covered up and hidden away for a long, long time.

So - I am committed to going to class for at least 6 months (although I am pretty sure I have rediscovered something that I will not let go of again ever).  I will be going three days per week whenever possible.  And I will chronicle the challenges, progressions, foibles, and hilarities that will ensue on this blog.  I would encourage anyone reading this blog to think about something they used to do that they loved as a child or a teenager, and do it again.  Please let me know if you are joining me in this journey!